


Of pure Gold

by Anonymous



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Durincest, Happy Ending, Hurt Kíli, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-26
Updated: 2019-08-26
Packaged: 2020-09-27 11:08:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20406730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Not everyone got away unscathed after the attack of the warg scouts





	Of pure Gold

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Im_a_huge_fan_of_coffee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Im_a_huge_fan_of_coffee/gifts).

> This is for Im_a_huge_fan_of_coffee for writing marvellous stories <3

Fili sat stone-still on the wooden bench, not moving at all and listening to the soft tunes the harps and flutes produced, staring absentmindedly at the delicately decorated stone tiles on the floor. He had been sitting here for almost two days now, silent with shock and grief. The music of the elves sounded like a funeral theme to him.

“Lad, you need to eat.”

He shook his head no and looked at Dwalin, who held out a plate with food, pushing it almost into his face.

"You need your strength, laddie. For yourself and especially for Kili. How can you be there for him when you're fading away?"

Kili. Wild, passionate and loyal Kili, burning with an inner fire and wearing his heart on his tongue. His brother Kili. Loyalty, honour and a willing heart, nothing could have described him better than the words Thorin had said back in Bag End. Kili and his never fading urge to prove himself and to fight for what he believed in. Kili, who was about to return to the stone in these very hours, while his brother had been forced to separate from him.

He had made ‘too much of a fuss’ over the gravely injured young dwarf, they had said. How could he ‘fuss too much’ when he was about to lose his very reason to breathe and exist? How could he ‘fuss too much’ over the love of his life dying a painful and unnecessary death?

In the end, they had to pull him out of the room and bring him back to his companions, who had taken turns in sitting with him, trying their best to be of help.

"You've heard them, didn't you? What they said about his condition, right? That his injuries are too severe to survive. That he was about to bleed out internally and even a wizard couldn't do anything to help him? You’ve heard that he no longer clings to his life, but slowly succumbs to death?"

Fili didn’t even realise that he was shouting again, but Dwalin didn’t bat an eye on that anyways. He had seen the prince in various states of a full mental breakdown during the last two days and could deal with all of it without problems. That was what friends are there for, right?

"I’ve faith in him,” he said quietly, “and I wish you would’ve too. He’s a son of Durin, and they say those are not so easily broken, Fili."

"Not when they're all alone, with no-one to hold on to at their side."

“Thorin’s with him."

Fili snorted disdainfully.

"Thorin! He’s the reason it's come so far in the first place. And now he presumes to play the loving uncle while he keeps me away from him!”

Although his patience slowly wore thin, Dwalin tried to take care of the blond prince, but since he couldn't gain anything but growing frustration, he gave up eventually and left him to his dark thoughts. After all, what he had said was partially true and he knew it was haunting Fili.

After they had escaped from the trolls, Kili and Thorin had had a falling-out, leaving both of them shouting hurtful words at each other. But, of course, the younger had taken them way more to heart than his stubborn and hardened uncle.

_"You are too old to dwell on stupid childhood dreams and wishful thinking. To be king's consort one day, ridiculous. The line of Durin needs heirs. Period. Your brother will marry a noble dam. You are both princes, your responsibility lies with your people, not your personal wishes.”_

Whenever those words replayed in Fili’s head, his heart clenched. If Thorin only hadn’t said them. He didn’t even knew how the both of them had brought up that topic, but Kili, being told he couldn’t marry his brother - a right every dwarf had, prince or not - had run berserk. Before Fili could intervene, a nasty fight had evolved and had only been interrupted by that odd wizard showing up, Radagast.

After that, they had been attacked by warg scouts and everything had gone in a blur. They had fled, and later fought, and for a moment it seemed there was a way out, since Gandalf had found the entrance to a hidden valley. Thorin had just called for his nephews to follow him when two huge wargs had approached the younger one. Instead of running like he had been told to, he had turned in his rage and thrust his sword right through the eye into the head of the first one, but had been a little too slow to pull it out in time to fight off the second beast.

What followed was etched in Fili’s mind and had replayed over and over again ever since it had happened.

The warg had attacked and his mighty jaws had seized his brother, tightly clenched around his torso, shaking him violently. Even now, two days later, Fili could still see it, hear Kili’s screams and his bones breaking and smell the blood. He remembered the horror he had felt. He didn’t recall having moved, but the brutal scene suddenly had come to a halt when a single throwing knife had bored right into the warg’s forehead, causing him to release Kili and collapse to the ground; dead.

It was only when they reached the unconscious dwarf that they realised they were surrounded by elves all of a sudden, slaughtering the rest of the orcs and wargs. Fili could barely remember anything from the short walk to Rivendell afterwards, being too shocked and anxious, fearing for his brother's life, who was bleeding from many wounds.

When the elves had announced the severity of Kili’s injuries later, Fili had been beside himself, being all over Kili, begging him to come back and shouting at his uncle. He even accused the elves of not giving their best to save him. That was when Elrond and Thorin had decided that he didn't do Kili’s condition any good. Initially he had refused to leave the room, so he was insistently led out and given into Dwalin’s capable hands. Since then he had been sitting on the bench, crying and praying at first, then staring and silent with the passing hours. He cursed Thorin and his actions, but also dreaded the moment is uncle would come back with bad news.

The others were around, quietly shuffling through the rooms and whispering with low voices. It was unbearable, they behaved as if Kili was already dead. And he wasn't, right ? Thorin would have told him. On the other hand, his uncle had also thrown him out of the room. He probably shouldn’t have shaken his in brother, yelling at him to wake up.

He knew he would not survive his brother's death, for Kili was so much more than that. He was his best friend, his comrade-in-arms. A room would lighten up when he entered and may the day be ever so bad, Kili always made it better. He was his inspiration, his sunshine, his home, his entire world and the love of his life. And Kili felt the same for him.

Thorin’s announcement had caught them both out cold and his brother in his wild rage had turned to the first target he could find; the wargs. But once incited, he was driven and determined beyond reason, which had been his demise after all. On the other hand, if there was someone to survive such gravely injuries, it was Kili.

There were a vast number of broken ribs and one lung had collapsed due to a penetration wound one of the teeth had caused, the inflowing air threatening his breathing. They had punctured his torso with a sharpened hollow cane to release it. His left arm was broken and the hip bone probably too. He was bleeding from numerous flesh wounds, constantly losing blood. And, as his condition had even worsened despite all the scratches, gashes and bitemarks had been treated, the elves and Oin had assumed internal bleeding. The increasing blood loss was what killed him now. That and the inflammation, for no attempt at cleaning the wounds and no amount of strong alcohol had been able to keep the injuries from infection. The resulting fever was constantly rising and draining him off the last bit of strength.

In his musings Fili hadn't noticed that the others had become quiet until someone cleared their throat right next to him. He didn't need to look up to know who it was.

“Uncle,” he said with a toneless and quiet voice without looking at the tall dwarf. The latter, not looking any better than his nephew, shaken with grief and fear, swallowed thickly before he answered.

“His condition deteriorates rapidly now. I think you should come, they say he’s about to lose the battle soon.”

The blond slowly stood up and followed him. It felt as if someone else had taken over his body and, for the hundredth time, he wished that was only a nightmare and he was to wake up any moment now, his brother lying by his side, the breathing even and slow in his undisturbed sleep. But it wasn't. This was real and he couldn't run away from whatever outcome Mahal choose for them.

He almost collapsed on the floor, his knees buckling, when he entered Kili’s room. His brother, once a bright and lively fellow, lay stock-still in the bed, white like a sheet, drenched in sweat, unbearable heat radiating from his skin. His heavy breathing was erratic and way too fast.

Fili rushed to his brother's side, took his uninjured hand and squeezed it gently. The younger didn't show any signs of recognition so far. Thorin cleared his throat behind him, putting a heavy hand on his shoulder.

“Fili...”

“Don't!”

He shoved it off and climbed on the bed. Thorin tried again to reach out to his oldest nephew, but got interrupted immediately.

"You have done enough. Leave us."

The hurt and sadness in his uncle's eyes were painful and he regretted his harsh words. But still, Kili was on his deathbed, _his deathbed_, because of him. If Kili hadn't been so desperate and hurt, he wouldn't have approached the wargs the way he had. Thorin left after another fruitless attempt to say something and Fili lay down next to his brother. The sight of the haggard brunet broke his heart. He rolled on his side, facing him and tried to make as much physical contact as possible without hurting him.

"Ázyungál," he whispered. "I'm here now. And I'm not going anywhere without you."

For a while he said nothing, only listened to Kili's strained breathing while he tried to comfort him with his light touches. He took one of the white cloths from the bedside table and dabbed his sweaty forehead dry the best he could while he caressed his beloved face. He looked terrible, withered even, with his cheeks hollow, the skin an unhealthy grey-yellowish colour, his lips white with a tad of blue and dark rings under his eyes.

"Kili?"

No answer.

"Can you hear me?"

The younger remained silent.

"If you hear me, can you squeeze my hand or blink with your eyes?"

Nothing. At first Fili hadn't noticed that he was crying. But now, that he realised that hot, salty tears streamed down his face, the dam broke completely. Violent sobs, he had held back for too long, broke their way out of his chest. Several minutes he felt he might choke, for the desperation and horror of the last two days finally broke their way out of him, refusing to be contained any longer. Kili didn't show any reactions to Fili’s breakdown, but he didn't care.

He cried and cried until he had no more tears left and his voice was hoarse. It took a while for him to recover, but he felt calmer afterwards. In a way it was resignation, on the other hand he felt … resolve.

He snuggled up against his brother, his face on his shoulder and his fingers carefully searching the other's hand. For another hour he just lay there, whispering small promises and endearments into his brother's ear.

"You will not be alone, Ázyungál. I won't allow it. If you really have to leave, I'll be coming with you. There is nothing here for me without you. We'll be together in life and death and no one can take that from us.”

He fell silent again, shuffling closer to his brother. Hot and sweaty or not, he tried to make as much contact as possible without disturbing him too much. Somehow, despite the dire situation, he felt peaceful. The raging storm in his heart had calmed down, as he knew they would be together. Forever.

* * *

When he opened his eyes after what felt like a short and fitful nap, he blinked confusedly. It had been late afternoon when he had come to Kili. Now the room was bright with the midday sun. He must have slept way longer than he had expected, almost an entire day. Probably his body had been too comfortable with Kili at his side.

Kili!

He startled up from the thought, turning his head and looking his brother up and down critically, afraid he might have passed away while he had been sleeping. There he was, still unconscious, pale and burning with fever. But he was alive and he looked ... well … somewhat better. The greyish tinge in his skin colour had faded and his lips, although still being almost white, had lost the blue touch. His breathing was still fast but more regular. Kili's features seemed more relaxed and not as plagued and troubled anymore. When Fili shuffled closer he realised his brother wasn't as hot as he had been before.

"Fili"

The young prince's head snapped around and he saw his uncle sitting on a chair in the corner. He looked horrible, worn out with sorrow and worry. And guilt.

“Uncle, what time is it?"

Assuming he only had slept through the night until late morning, he was even more shocked to learn that he indeed had slept through the entire day as well and the following, second night. Obviously, the events had taken a heavier toll on him than expected.

"Thorin. Kili. What happened? How is he still alive? I mean I'm glad, don't get me wrong, but they said... they said..."

Fili felt another wave of tears coming up and Thorin got up to pull him into a tight hug. There was no room for disputes anymore, as both of them had been too close to lose a beloved person, and now that they might not their nerves were on edge.

"They don't know either. A few hours after you fell asleep, he seemed to stabilise. On a low level at first, but then his condition improved ever so slightly. He seems to get better. The fever isn't that high anymore, though still bad. It appears the bleeding has stopped, as he's still alive and has regained a little colour. The elves and Oin are at their wit's end. Obviously, the old saying is true, ‘the Line of Durin will not be so easily broken."

Fili nodded, unshed tears blurring his vision. Could it be true? Was it possible? Could Kili survive after all? Heal even?

“I didn't dare hoping, Thorin continued. “I was afraid he’d make a turn for the worse again or that I wake up one moment and find him already dead. Every waking minute I regretted my words. I couldn't stand the thought of losing him, and the last thing I said was how childish he was. I know I have no right to load my baggage onto your shoulders. But you need to know that I'm grieving as much as you and if I could do anything to undo what happened, I would.”

“You can't. But you can make it up to us. In case Kili survives, you will not come between us again. No dams, no heirs, no arranged marriages. Are we clear?"

Without hesitation Thorin nodded.

"You have my word. And my blessings. Even if you want to abdicate and return to Ered Luin, I'm with you no matter what you choose to do."

Fili nodded thankfully. He knew what it had cost his uncle to make such a decision and how much it would hurt him, if his nephews turned on their heels to go back to the Blue Mountains. He wanted to appreciate that, but couldn't speak properly, as the impact of his words hit deep.

If Kili was about to get better, they could marry. _Marry_. Finally. With soft eyes he turned back to his brother and cupped his face in his hand. The brunet inclined his head, barely noticeable, and leaned a little closer into the touch without waking up.

Both, Fili and Thorin, were more than surprised at this movement.

“That's new! I watched you all the time during your sleep. Whenever you touched him, he didn't react at all!”

"Obviously, young master Kili clings to his brother's life more than to his own."

None of them had noticed that Gandalf had entered the room along with Elrond, who smiled at the princes on the bed.

"After all, it's no secret that dwarves are way harder than any other creature in the world, but overcoming deathly injuries out of pure love, that’s unheard of. And that is what seemed to have happened here. Apparently, a dwarven heart is not at all made of stone, but of pure gold."

"No, obviously not."

Thorin came closer to the bed, took Kili's good hand and squeezed it remorseful.

“My boy, if you can find it in your heart to forgive an old fart like me,, I'll be the luckiest dwarf in the world. And no matter what you decide in that matter, I promise I'll give you to your brother, for who am I to severe such a strong bond? Kili, I've learnt my lesson. There are things way more important than bloodlines and kingdoms."

Elrond came to examine the injured dwarf once again, looking satisfied when he was finished with that task. "His abdomen isn't taut anymore. It really seems the bleeding has stopped and his body is healing. Save from their hearts, dwarves must really be made of stone."

Thorin nodded impressed and no less surprised.

"They are indeed," and with a smile on his face he added, "especially this one."

* * *

It took Kili three more days to wake up and even then it was only for a few minutes. But nonetheless, for Fili it meant the world. It was in the late afternoon hours, when the room was drenched in a golden, warm light. Fili, who hadn't left his brother's side for once, had buried himself in one of the numerous books Rivendell offered. Thankfully, not all of them were written in Elvish. Next to him, Kili sighed deeply, which had happened more and more during the last days, and without turning his gaze from the book, Fili smiled and carded his fingers through his brothers mane.

"F-F-Fee."

His voice was cracking from disuse, almost inaudible, but for Fili it was the sweetest sound he had ever heard. He gasped and turned in surprise.

"Kee!"

The book fell to the floor where it lay forgotten while the brothers held each other tightly, exchanging soft kisses and sweet words. Tears of joy and relief streamed down the blond's face and he couldn't let go of his brother, save for a short moment when he gave him some water, until the brunet fell asleep a smile on his face.

Kili had been incredibly weak, barely able to lift the cup of water given to him. And he was suffering from immense pain, so Fili had also given him a cup of the concoction Elrond had left on the bedside table for that case. And so Fili left the room for the first time after five days to find the company, and especially Thorin, to spread the good news.

* * *

The recovery took long. Too long for Kili to leave Rivendell with the Company, much to his dismay and protest. But Thorin, Fili, Gandalf, and especially Elrond and Oin as his healers, were in complete agreement. And so it happened that Thorin's company left Rivendell being two dwarves short, as it was out of question that Fili would leave his beloved brother behind. They would join them later Elrond had promised. Although the princes had no idea how this could be possible, and the tall elve, who had the gift of foresight, refused to give anything away, they were happy. They didn’t care that he turned to Gandalf, murmuring senselessly about giant eagles and something that sounded like 'rescue in the nick of time'. They had themselves and an entire dwarven life to gain glory and honour.


End file.
